YSaC, Vol. 588: A picture is worth … well, something.
Since (as we learned yesterday) pictures are the best way to sell something on Craigslist, people probably take great care in presenting their wares with the best visual representation possible, right?
Right. Of course they do.
Red Leather Square Lounger – $75
Sorry about the pic thought I had a better one, but behind my motorcycle there is a red leather square framed lounger (can also be used as crazy big ottoman) comes with matching pillows
Thanks for looking!
Translation: I’m too lazy to take another picture of this. Either that, or the neighborhood kids have been using it as a trampoline and/or urinal since I took this picture.
But wait … there’s more!
Cannondale Chase + other bike parts – $900
I got a 2007 Cannondale Chase bike for sale. The frame is silver and the rest of the components are red and black. This could possibly be one of the best looking Chase’s out there. No pics currently but they’ll be there soon or you can email for some. Price is negotiable!!!!!
[The ad goes on listing bike attributes, and then other bike bits, and concludes with … ]
other junk scattered around the house, just ask
Corey
xxx-xxx-xxxx
My, that certainly is a lovely Cannondale Chase bike behind that enormous laundry basket. In fact, that’s possibly the best looking Cannondale Chase bike behind a laundry basket that I’ve seen. Except for the “Cannondale Chase bike behind laundry basket” exhibit at the Modern Art Museum in Madrid. That had the air of authenticity about it that this replica is lacking.
I wonder if the laundry basket is part of the “other junk” that Corey [!] has for sale?
Telescope–right side in the picture
Bob.
Clara sent this listing in, saying, “As far as this listing goes, I see what is potentially a tripod in the lower right… not really a telescope but I can’t really tell due to there being 4 identical, cluttered photos. In these photos I can also spot a few houseplants, an empty shelf, curtains, the edge of a sofa, possibly a lightsaber, and Bob, the tripod. Or perhaps the tripod belongs to Bob. I can’t really tell, as ‘Bob.’ is the only text in the body of the message.
But, as this was put in the free section of CL, at least whatever I’ll be getting shouldn’t cost me anything.”
See? Photos are clearly the most important part of the ad.
Thanks to Christine, Dan, and Clara for these important photographic tips!
I’m not sure Corey would be so vague about the junk in his house….
Wonder if Bob called t from yesterday’s post? That’s one fine photo entered 4 different times, and it only cost $20 to get rid of . . . something.
The photo probably cost Bob:
4 x $20 = $80
If you look closely, I’m sure you’ll probably find that they’re the same photo but in slightly different monkey-crotch-resolutions.
I thought they were a game – find the difference between these four photos!
The truth is I really don’t want to get started on work today.
P.S. I saw a FreeCycle listing today for “WANTED: Dumb Bells”
I’m just wondering if he’s also got an ad trying to sell the bookcase, but the photo he uses for that ad is mainly a closeup of the tripod/telescope with the header:
Bookcase—left side in the picture
Band Name o’ the Day Nom (early days division): Monkey Crotch Resolutions
I suppose “bob” could be a verb, not a noun. I’m not sure what the potential implications of this semantic alteration might be, however.
On CL, bob and stew almost always default as verbs and never as proper nouns.
Taco
Matt
Could be the poster wants someone to bob his telescope. He says it has at least a 12-inch aperture. You can discover a big moon in the process. With the lyric “(Galileo.) Galileo. (Galileo.) Galileo, Galileo figaro” playing in the backyard.
Watch out. If you bob a telescope with a 12-inch aperture, you may find Uranus.
Or so I’ve heard…
You know what they say, “Verbing weirds language.” 🙂
Hello Corey,
Is that a standard frame Chase, or is it da frame? Also would like to know the flavor. Thx.
Minty. Always minty.
I don’t know, it looks cherry to me.
Or strawberry. Red is usually cherry or strawberry, right?
I might be confusing bicycles with popsicles again.
No, no, red is definitely a flavour.
Red=flavor yes
http://www.bumwine.com/cisco.html
Note the flavor Red. It apparently tastes like diesel. I always imagined it tasting like decaying fruit and death, but diesel is close enough.
I remember watching Kratt’s Creatures as a kid and one of the brothers ate grass and said it tasted green…very green. I think he was right about that one.
I was at a diner once and my friend asked what kind of jello they had. The waitress replied, “Red.” We decided that the flavor really was “red,” because it wasn’t exactly any sort of definable berry, or cherry, but not necessarily not those flavors, either.
I’ve never had Cisco, but I’ve sampled Wild Irish Rose back in my misspent youth (when I was broke and didn’t know better) and it does have the appearance and aroma of diesel, both going down and coming back up.
A member of my gaming group once made “bloodwine” by mixing Jell-O powder into warm vodka, creating a thick, viscous liquid that was a dark reddish-purple. It was as vile as it sounds.
When I was a kid, there was a vendor of Italian ices who sold four flavors – lemon, cherry, grape, and blue. Blue was my favorite.
I bought a box of cereal the other day called “Crispy Hexagons”. I swear to god it tasted EXACTLY like a hexagon would taste…sort of cardboardy, vaguely woody, with some corn-type taste in there. I thought it was a generic Crispix, but it’s seriously just Crispy Hexagons!
Reminds me of the horrible Sedex cafeteria we had on Campus while I was in school.
I’d walk up to the serving counter and look at the food and say something along the lines of:
“I’ll take some of the yellow stuff, orange stuff, and that brown stuff on noodles.”
Server: “You mean creamed corn, squash, and beef stroganoff?”
“I know that’s what you’re told to call them, but I stick by my naming convention, as it’s more accurate to the food I’ll actually be recieving.”
After about 3 months of ordering, the servers would ask me, “Ok, which colors do you want today?”
Sedex? Would that be Sodexo? Because they’re still exactly the same, except now some of their slop is organic.
My mom keeps telling me to eat more green vegetables, and when I say I can’t afford them she tells me to go to the cafeteria and get some. She was unimpressed when I pointed out Sodexo’s colorful history in food safety, including salmonella on the greens in some prison they worked for.
I’ll admit, they’re a step above Chartwell’s, but only in safety standards. At least with Sodexo, the slop is usually at the correct temperature and they don’t force the sick people to work around the food like Chartwell’s used to.
Yup, Sodexo. We called them Sadex because we felt it a more approprite name. Also “Sedex” was a typo above, it should have been Sadex.
Two wonderful stories about our cafeteria:
1. I got food poisoning twice from them. The first time I got it from a salad with italian dressing. Thinking it was the dressing I had a salad a second time a few weeks later and brought my own… I still got sick. From that point on I did not trust any vegetable they served me uncooked.
2. The cafeteria I used to go to was staffed mostly by ex-inmates of the local Sadex prison. Most of the servers were student employees in order to appear less dodgey, but the majority of the kitchen staff were placed ex-inmates. The cafeteria in question was also in a girls only dorm. Not necessarily bad, just the fact of the situation. However, during the 2 years I was forced to eat at the cafeteria I was witness to four seperate arrests of cafeteria staff during dinner service. Two were for drug trafficing (one of which was selling pot to students right over the serving counter). One was for attempted murder in a gang shooting. And the last one was for domestic violence.
Later it came out that the police used the cafeteria as the point of arrest to set an example for the other employees. Not sure how well that turned out.
Oh yeah, I had loads of faith that the food I was being served did not include saliva or urine. Totally secure in that one.
lol, most of our employees are students (which they are somehow legally able to abuse, even though they can’t do anything to the full-timers). we have several people who have been in our cafeteria from chartwells through to sodexo.
personally, ive had food poisoning once from Chartwells, and just really adverse reaction to some of the sodexo food due to unlabeled ingredients (I got sick from unknown cheese in a sandwich, and my boyfriend ended up puking because of unlabeled pork). No legit salmonella/e. coli/listeriosis etc. I suspect that’s because I avoid their fresh vegetables like the plague…their fruit all comes out of cans, so that’s alright, but those veggies are sketchy as shit.
My college’s cafeteria was nominally a Sodexho, but it was actually absolutely fantastic. It was a buffet with several lines, including a vegetarian-oriented one, which was how I learned to like vegetables and to LOVE beans.
Now appearing at the 40Watt, Crispy Hexagons! They are sure to play their all-time hit, “Vaguely Woody.” Don’t miss it if you can.
Since Corey knows everything, maybe he could explain to us why the tripod is named Bob. And why none of the other pictured objects warrant a proper name.
The bookcase is usually Billy.
The plants are:
Stanly, Veronica, Caesar, Moogy, and Frank. Respectively.
Nope. The plants are all named Audrey II. In which case I would run far far away.
And the poles behind the bookcase are named Batman and Robin.
Sarajean, I’m pretty sure there really is an IKEA bookcase named Billy.
… Technically, it’s a shelving unit: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?query=billy
And he says hello. (Billy the Bookcase, that is.)
I have two bookcases named Billy! They’re black-brown, and Not Pictured.
Actually, I suspect the poles behind the bookcase are named Stanslaw and Wawrzyniec.
Lech and Meathead?
Bonus Corey points to Lola for explaining sarajean’s great IKEA joke!
I actually remembered that, Bianchi, because Ikea stuff always has names like (please forgive keyboard inability to make Scandinavian letters properly) “Sofasnakel,” so one named “Billy” tends to stand out. I remember it because I was looking for bookshelves, saw the name, and hought, “Nah, that can’t be right! This is IKEA, home of the Sofasnakel and its assorted ilk!”
Meej – And so does a table whose name is Ingo, but Karl the ladder-back birch chair is off having a hissy fit.
SJ – *grin*
For anyone who doesn’t already know what SJ and I are on about, check out Jonathan Coulton’s excellent ode to Ikea:
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Ikea
(Well worth the listen.)
Meej: I was just about to link to that song. I keep it on my mobile phone in case I ever have the opportunity to take over the PA system at Ikea.
The weird thing about living in Finland and understanding a little Swedish is that most of the Ikea item names almost make some kind of sense to me. In fact, some of them (Jussi the table, and Pirjo the fabric print/duvet cover) are even Finnish names.
Thanks for the awesome link, Meej. My friends call me Carl, too. but only on the weekends. Probably because of the outfits.
Dan, Al Sharptonski on line two for you. 8)
I’m sure the flavor is classic asscrack mixed with a hint of toe jam.
Don’t forget flakey foot fungus and “too much chili” gas.
That’s only on the gourmet red leather.
Funny, I’ve been looking for a crazy big ottoman. My sane, ordinary-sized ottoman is just too staid and boring for me, and I think it might be more fun to live with if it had a large lunatic friend. Preferably one with a motorcycle.
How BIG does your living room [or your feet] have to be to use that as an ottoman?
(+1 kudos to ape-hanger biker for at least spelling that correctly)
Thanks for looking!
Price is negotiable!!!!!
Is it just me, or can this be translated to:
I know I’m charging too much for this stuff, but if you call me on it I might sell it for something closer to realistic.
Might just be me.
You phuked with your name again TmM!
*bad bad bad*
That looks just like my laundry hamper! Except mine did not come with a bike, a mountian of dirty clothes, or whatever hideous plaid thing is behind them. It does have a number of tiny puncture marks grouped together in a ring that is at the same approximate height as my cat Fearless’ head.
That’s not suspicious…
I’ve never caught her doing it, but she’s the only one who’s the right height. Plus she chews on just about everything else in sight. I think she’s part puppy.
And here I thought that a Cannondale Chase was that lovely madras plaid shower curtain behind the laundry basket on wheels.
Layering and perspective confuse me in 2-D. I’m not entirely clear on the concept.
Its the motorbike in the living room that’s freaking me out, not the hidden crazy ottoman. Doesn’t the poster have a yard or a garage?
To me, that picture looks like it was taken outdoors. But maybe I’m just making that assumption because it’s got a motorcycle in it.
You assume too quickly! Motorcycles are obviously an indoor item!
http://lovelylisting.com/2010/02/you-be-the-judge-2.html
Where’s SteveO to clear this up?
When I was single, the bike went in the second bedroom. Now, children are occupying my motorcycle storage. I guess it depends whether you are willing to die on that mountain or not, matrimonially (sp? I may have just made that word up) speaking.
A fellow I worked with kept his in his living room. Not so much as a display sort of thing, but as a so-the-neighborhood-kids-won’t-steal-it sort of thing.
He happens to be a life-long batchelor. Go figure.
The guy at the end of my block keeps his HD in his sunroom. As the sunroom is floor to ceiling glass with an modernish bubble effect, sloping upward to meet the roof, it looks like the Harley dealership is just down the street. The design, and that he leaves the recessed lights on that shine down right over it after dark.
Little and big boys have been known to drool passing by.
I’m with you tig . . . it looks like the the photo was taken indoors to me. Looks like a concrete floor and the green floor covering might be that crowd favorite, synthetic turf.
I’m still trying to figure out what the heck that thing on the centerblocks is.
A tetherball pole? A stripper pole? A flag pole? A laundry pole? The possibilities are endless.
“You see?” Mrs. Ustaszewski tells her children as they leave Gdansk, “you can be einything you want to be in Amer-i-ca, just ask Miss Eyebrows. She’ll tell you.”
*read with East European accent, it helps*
$900 seems a little steep for a three-year-old bike, even a high-end one like this. Unless the “other bike parts” include something like
– flowered basket. Flowers signed by Georgia O’Keeffe
– Tiffany bicycle bell
– 1951 Mickey Mantle rookie card in spokes
– seat equipped with Magic Fingers
I have a car for sale. I took a picture of it. It’s behind the house in this picture, sorry if you can’t see it too well. Because it’s behind the freaking house.
I don’t know, that last listing looks like some bona fide art right there. And it has that “zen” quality of the “The Table” listing from so far back. You know, this one: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=646
It never implies anything is for sale. I think the man was just trying to make an art, and we have to bring him down like this!
So… Bob is the title of this fine work?
Reminds me of a piece of modern art that I designed a while ago as an appreciation of art project.
The piece consistes of a piece of sheet metal formed into a cone, which is then textured with popcorn ceiling spay. Impaled on the cone is a cardboard box, covered in adobe and painted purple polka dotted with green. Upon the very top of the cone is impaled a wooden sphere, painted blue striped with yellow. From this sphere an aluminum rod extending at a 35º angle from parallel with the ground. From this rod hangs a chain painted silver. Attached to this chain is a stuffed plush monkey holding a crayon box filled with smarties candy.
It is titled “Sarcasm”, and it’s a jab at how fugly and horrible most “abstract” modern art pieces are.
I completed a scale model of it a while ago, and it’s somewhere in my tinker shop. Someday I’ll build the full project and try to sell it for a few hundred thousand dollars to somebody who misinterprets the meaning.
I demand pictures!
Also, the mention of popcorn ceiling spray made me hungry for actual popcorn. I was wondering what to eat, and you answered it for me. Thanks.
You’d only be disappointed. My scale model is made out of card stock, and I colored it hastily with crayons. This was for a class I hated in highschool after all.
But I can still try to dig it out of the pile. I’m sure it’s relatively in one piece.
FYI, making a sphere out of card stock is really hard. But when you give up, crumpling up a piece into a rough ball approximates the look rather effectively.
My GPA wasn’t so good in HS.
Rule 1!
If only he’d gone a little further in the Warhol vein, we could have had something…
Something like THIS!
http://home.comcast.net/~djc30/BobWarhol.jpg
So… where’s my mortician working on a clown painting Meej?
I suppose if you find me a pic of a mortician and a clown I can photoshop it for you in about 5 minutes. That’s about all I’ve got the chops for. 🙂
TM: I’ve had no luck finding you a mortician working on a clown, but I did find you this excellent news broadcast from ICNN.
I’m not interested in any of these things. What I am interested in, though, is the item _behind_ the persons who shot these photos – that would be the Pinto in the first post; the washer/dryer in the second; and the coffee table in the third. You think if I printed out the photos and took them to my local camera shop they would be able to print out the photos in reverse so I can get a better look at the items I want?
I must have Bob, the invisible telescope. Think of the conversations it could start as my houseguests unknowingly bump into it. Those conversations could last for whole minutes!
Or at least make for a memorable trip to the ER.
Bob appears to need Viagra…or are there constellations in the carpets of the world that I’ve not heard of?
Sigh…such pithy commentary and all for naught….I put on the readers and really stared at the picture…and I see that Bob is missing…I mistook a leg of the tripod for a…shall we say “less than enthusiastic”?….Bob…
Ok… I’ve been staring at this entry for awhile now and I simply can’t think of anything snarky to say. As a photographer, all I can do is stare, blink, sigh, and stare some more.
This defies snark.
These posting are both sucking at craigslist and the punchline of any joke you could make about them. Most of us are just grasping at straws in order to come up with snark.
I thought Bob was a swimmer.
Art was on the wall and Matt was by the front door. Tom is the telescope.
Corey? Is that you? Our very own Corey? Advertising on Craig’s List? Did you learn nothing from that one day you spent here with us? Or did you just not feel the love?
Yeah, I often wonder if Corey still lurks in the shadows of YSaC grumbling about the insult he perceived in the snark thrown at him.
Corey is always with us!
If not in body, then in snark.
Perhaps Bob the Telescope is indeed on the right, but hiding behind the curtains.
Colonel Mustard, with Bob the telescope, in the library named Percival. Did I win the board game?
“[C]an be used as crazy big ottoman”?
And just what employ are we contemplating setting Turkish persons to?
Or are we merely emulating Anatolians in some fashion–begging the question of where one might find a suitably-sized scimitar (without braving dewey bints in sketchy ponds, naturally).
Having invoked eastern potentates, perhaps, the plant, the bookcase, the tripod et are all named “Bob” (pg 93 of Kemal Attaurk, the Man, informing us of “Abdul” the fish, cat, and fruitbat).
Poor Bob the bookcase, bought at the unfinished funiture[sic] joint and the masonite back still bare of paint . . .
i cant get snarky either when i want to smack these dimwits into next week. or last week. gawd, i’d love that bicycle laundry basket. might be very good for people who need to use a laundry mat.
sigh. the morons are winning.
Crazy Big Ottoman will be the name of my Native American baby.
Particularly appropriate if the child is actually bornon the crazy big ottoman.
Or like that commercial, where the parents reveal that the kids were named after places they were conceived… and then the one kid wants to know why she shares the same name as the car.
Come to think of it, that will work for my kids. I’ll call him Otto Mahn Hartster if it’s a boy, Ahtto Mayne Hartster if it’s a girl.
I knew of a girl by the name of Lovechild Erminetrout. Rumored to be the child of hippie Native Americans. Most likely Donna Summer fans, too.
She was valedictorian of her class at my alma mater.
And immediately toted a rifle up a bell tower……..
Ron, you lucky dog, you! Get your card punched! Right here! 8)
Psst, anybody think HHNF looks a little. . .different today? She looks so blue! How can we cheer her up?
It’s because my gravatar is el grosso.
It’s much better now. 8)
Does anyone else think that the reason we can’t see all of Bob the telescope is because it is aimed out the window at the neighbors’ house?
Ok, does anyone else read this from an iPhone?or use the mobile site, actually. Is the non-stacking of the comments my messed up settings or is it supposed to be like that?
it’s like that on the mobile settings. 😛 very confusing, i know.
Yah. I usually switch off the mobile settings. Harder to read, but at least the comments make sense.
Well, as much as they ever do, anyways.
If we are making sense, then we are doin’ it wrong…..
Sorry. We haven’t found a mobile theme yet that has nested comments.