YSaC, Vol. 290: It gets a 6.5 from the Romanian judge.
2009 May 3
These two entries are both from the same metropolitan area:
student wants to learn doggi style
I want to learn to do doggies with style…..and perhaps photography
My desperate hope that this was someone asking for instruction on pet grooming were dashed when I realized that this post came from the “Adult Gigs” section.
As does this:
private lap dancers wanted
big breast and boobs a plus no exp. nessacary
This guy’s demanding — he wants a big breast AND boobs. I’m no slouch in the boobs department, but I don’t also have a big breast, so I guess I’m out. If the boobs don’t have to be big, we could set him up with these boobs. That might teach him to be a little more specific.
Thanks, oliveees, for ruining my faith in humanity just a little bit more.
Doing doggies with style? I think that’s illegal.
What’s with the photography? Was that just an afterthought? Like, Oh, I’d love to learn to do Judo….I sing to my cat! Damn ADD.
I prefer this lovely pair:
http://tinyurl.com/dfzxqs
So, he only wants one big breast? And doesn’t specify how many boobs he wants (as long as it’s at least two)? Well, I have two big breasts, but I don’t think I’ll be willing to part with just one if he’s getting boobs also.
Re: doggi style
1. he’s already on the internet, i’m pretty sure there are already plenty of photos for him already online. doggystyle.
2. Maybe i’m a phenomenally fast learner, but i feel like that is a pretty simple thing to learn. it’s not the type of thing you really need to take a class for or anything.
3.Maybe it’s 2 separate thoughts like “I would like to learn doggystyle. I also have an interest in learning photography but i’m too lazy to make 2 posts.
In response to ad 1, I don’t know how to do doggies with style, I’ve only met doggies who were slobs and I didn’t do them. In response to ad 2, I am sorry but I only do public lap dances.
Just a private dancer, a dancer for doggies, and any old camera will do.
(It’s going to be a crowded Saturday in the corner.)
I hate to correct the Llama-nun (MBBUH) but I proffer the theory that these sorts of ads come from those who have devolved back at least two steps from homo sapiens. I also think this is where David Brin got his idea for the Uplift books. From now on, I will think of Sparkies as glavers.
On a more to the point note, these two need to get together. There’s so much Sparky II can teach Sparky I.
*psst* I put the Llama-nun (MBBUH) in the box! Don’t tell anyone! Manda B, you are in there too. You can tell that part, though.
If Sparky 2 is not going to specify experience in lap dancing, perhaps we could send in a tap dancer to dance in his lap.
probably too little too late, given sparki fecundity.
[Matt]This is discrimination against all the other reindeer!
I demand he also allow Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph in his lap.
Such games they play.[/Matt]
We are not Amused by other cats.
[get up; turn around; wash; turn the other way; wash; sit]
We find doggi are Not! Right!
[plops down; wash foot; flicks ear; bristles whiskers; sulks]
I love surprise endings:
Lap dancing
You come into the room
I’m sitting in the chair
You’re up on me so quickly
And we start this brief affair
You twist and turn around
In a contorted kind of way
I really want to feel you
But I can’t to my dismay
You rub yourself against me
I get a face full of your bum
I’m not sure I can take this
I think I may succumb
I know I must not touch
I know you aim to please
But I’m allergic to bloody cats
And you’ll make me flippin sneeze
Sex and a photograph?
Bondage and a painting?
Watersports and an etching?
Orgy and a sculpture?
Naw, nothing looks good.
Would anyone like to take over punching just for tonight? *whistles nonchalantly*
May I try?
Llamanun (BBUH) – MandaB, this is gonna hurt you more than it will me.
Punchity Punch Punch! Punchity Punch Punch!
Oh crap! I had the die in upside down. Sorry…….
G’Night Truth or Consequences, NM
Great job, Coffy! 8) Thanks