YSaC, Vol. 1569: Sing the praises of pants.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned by doing this blog, it’s that the most important thing is marketing. It’s all about marketing. And presentation. It’s all about marketing and presentation. And photographs. Crap, that’s like seven things.
2 bedroom r.r.( saparet entrence)back garden j,m,z,L, trains $1650
very nice , spacieas , ranovatrd , cozy, quiet, back yard-garden apt., next to [place] block is accupied by young anerganic professionals,artists …….
located PLACE bet, CENTREL/EVERGREEN AVE,
short walk to J,M,Z, or L trains close to all & any shopping / stoers ,,,,,,,,2 bedrooms rail rooad style ( has saparde entrence )
tremandus eat in kitchen
nice living room
full bathroom
wooded fl,
HEAT HOT WATER INCLUTED
avlb. sep 1 no fee call me
xxx xxx xxxx
Okay, so there’s a litany of spelling disasters happening in this ad. I’m imagining that anerganic means that the professionals and artists get their nutrition from air, which is kind of a cool trick if you can pull it off. There’s a few pictures along with the ad, too, which at first emphasize the importance of letting your tenants know when you’ll be stopping by to take pictures of their apartment …
… and then hit you with a naked guy in the kitchen. Oh, it’s a subtle naked guy, and he might actually be wearing underwear, but still … guy. Kitchen. Possibly naked, and possibly making bacon on the stove that you might use when you move in. Because bacon, that’s why.
So now we’ve found where we want to live, but we’re going to need some furniture for it. Where could we possibly … oh, right.
An older sectional with a pull-out bed. In very usable shape,simply cant keep moving it with me wherever I go. Asking $50,but if you can move it out of here its yours. Let me know if you want it. It definitely requires a moving truck,trailer or multiple trips since it is 4 pieces. Let me know if you are interested.
*roommate not included*
Never mind.
Thanks, Hamy and Lynne!
Pay no attention to the javelin impaled in the pillow. They randomly fall out of the attic during Polka Night.
That’s what she said.
Polka? Damn near killed’a!
I mean Euphemism Night!
Euphemism?
If you cannot for the breech at the front (of Harfleur)
One sends Cap. Llywellyn to under mine at the rear.
It is the wise Sapper who does not pause to discuss the conduct of the Punic Wars lest the stout of brawn rather than brain undermine the garderobe.
I thought every night in the Lounge was Euphemism Night?
J = jail?
M = Manatees?
Z = Zodiac?
L = eLevated trains?
I think I know this neighborhood!
2BR near Blue and Orange Lines and shopping. Block is full of young inorganic professionals who like being photographed in just their underwear after having thrown their clothes randomly around the place. Roommate does not convey.
Must be in the French quarter…
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Speer, javelot, javelin.
Kochen speck nackt, Ce n’est pas un rouleau
De quarts, was not expecting you.
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Saparet, au Saparet, to Saparet
Un Manda deux Mandi’s tremandus’
*gets out catulator*
Hmmm, it says the odds are 999999999 kibbles:1 that you’ll lose your herring.
My what?
Chicken butt!
I reckon the first apartment is being let by Franck the wedding planner from Father of the Bride.
I ran over a turd once. My tires smelled bad for weeks.
*throws multiple doors at TC*
I have been signing on to YSaC for too long. Actually read this as “renovated” right off the bat. Oh dear. However, I like your interpretation much, much better!
I once ranovah a Tardis. I went back to the future.
The only critters who should be makin’ bacon naked are pigs.
“Makin’ Bacon Naked” is IF’s Lady Gaga cover band.
Not Bare Nekkid Ladies?
My second choice was Meat Puppets.
The framed collection of vintage AOL CDs had best come with the place. Otherwise, no sale.
*roomate not included*
That’s kinda O.K…..I’m looking for more of a roomatrix anyway.
Just not a kangaroomate, those Aussies drink all your beer.
IF—I’ll have you know that “installation” of vintage AOL cds recently sold at auction for $1.5 million. I know, I know…half a million more than estimate…art prices are just going wild these days.
That means I microwaved a small fortune in my younger days!
Is that because it’s heavy or because you keep getting sectional-burns on your shirtless back?
Damn, I was looking for a sofa that came with a mostly nude man.
*Heads back to Craigslist to keep looking*
I think you’ll have better luck in Casual Encounters…
Was debating whether “railroad style” meant the sales technique–this while having to suppress Lionel Twain cross-referencing in my noggin.
To have the photos show that “rr style” means more George RR Martin style, in that, having built up your expectations, and filled your imaginings with every detail of an ideal bed-chamber, it’s killed to be just a hallway with a space just large enough to jam a double bed into. Said hallway probably leading to another such similar space filled with torture and hate towards Iron Islanders.
This, er, “flat” has been ranovrtd probably just means they put a new seat in the garderobe, which can only be gotten to by way of the hallway past the other bed.
Capn…do you know if the term “RR style” is of northern derivation? Down here in Tejas, I’ve always heard it referred to as “Shotgun” or “Shotgun shack.” Other possible terms are…”coyote style, gully style, and alley style.”*
*these may have just been made up.
Well, having been in the design and construction biz for over three decades’ her in Texas, I cannot say I’ve ever heard of “railroad” style bedrooms.
“Shotgun” I know, even to the point of knowing the difference between a Louisiana one and a Texas one (in Texas, it’s more likely to be parallel, rather than perpendicular to the access road, and will often be a “dog run” too).
Having trawled my residential reference books, I’m inferring that the description is meant to describe bedrooms laid out like a railroad sleeper car, or a private compartment car–with all the possible variations that could entail. This, in the same manner that “jack-n-jill” bathrooms have several connotations.
“Railroad apartment” may be a more common description in NYC than where you live. Wikipedia is familiar with it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Railroad_apartment
Am I the only one who immediately checked the second ad photo for a bong on the table?
I was trying to avoid looking too closely.
Other than to notice the windows are all open, and a fan is blowing across the dude with a game controller.
Oddly enough, there’s a coffee press on the table, there next to a jar of coins.
See, this is why we’ve been classified as a pron site. Post photos of guys with their bong on the table! Outrageous!
I would need to know what very nice species it comes with. I do not want to clean up after Markis Parker trokers. Even if they wear underwear.
Nekkid guy in kitchen is having a tremandus eat, after which he’ll head to the full bathroom for a tremandus dump.
Is the wooded fl covered with bonsai trees? That can be rough on the ankles. Can I trade it out for a fruited plane?
Fruited Plane??..for flying, er, bananas in from South America?
I’m so relieved that the tramandus eats in the kitchen since it would be too unpleasant if it ate in the ‘nice living room’. What does it eat and will I have to walk it ?
A tramandus is presumably some form of dinosaur?
Yes, it’s one of those large plant-eating ones. Like a brontosaurus, only we don’t call them that any more, apparently. The tremandus likes to eat spacieas, which is a type of azalea. It has to fight the ranovatrd for the spacieas, though, because the ranovatrd (which is an alien from the last series of Dr Who) makes its nest out of them.
“Instructions for Punch-O-Matic. Step one, insert card. Step two, push red button. Step three, removed punched card. Warning: Do Not Push Yellow Button!”
Huh. I wonder what happens if I do push the Yellow Button?
Punchity Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch help Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch stop Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch this Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch crazy Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch Punch thing!*
Good Morning, Gymnosophical Society!
*ow.