YSaC, Vol. 1498: The professor, and the rest.
2013 April 24
WANTED TUITERING FOR 100TON COAST GUARD MARINE PLOTTING
i AM STUDDING TO RETEST FOR MY 100 TON CAPTAINS LICENSE AND NEED ASSITENCE IN PLOTTING i WILL PAY FOR TUITERING. THANKS
Well, stud, frankly I think I’d be just as happy if someone who can’t even figure out how to turn off caps lock was NOT put in charge of a marine vehicle weighing half as much as the Statue of Liberty. Have you considered applying for a job as Gilligan, instead?
Thanks Elizabeth!
Do you need help plotting? Want to overthrow your 100 Ton Captain? Then come to our cage, I mean office, at Acme Labs, and try one of our courses – generously priced – where Pinky and I will tuiter you on HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Or pass your exam, obviously. (The lack of imagination in some people is appalling…)
Ladies and gentlemen, the few, the brave, the bold, the marines. I know I feel safer, how about you? Hoo-ha! Guess spelling isn’t a prerequisite for military service these days.
A marine I knew once told me they were essentially well-trained, obedient cannon fodder. Of course, he’s the sort of guy where you don’t believe half the things they say, and are suspicious of the other half.
My impression, and I’m sure Capn Mac knows better than I, is that this person is not attempting to join any sort of armed service. I suspect the Coast Guard is administering the exam, and the “marine” part is supposed to be just the general sense of “having to do with water.”
Yes. “Marine” as in Seaworld.
That said the Coast Guard is part of the United States military, an oft overlooked part but armed nonetheless. And this sad example of humanity seems to already be a part of it…
Coasties started off as a branch of Treasury, as the Tax & Revenue Cutter Service.
IRS split them off to become part of the Dept. of Transportation until DHS was formed in 2002.
By US law, under declaration of War, the USCG is seconded into the US Navy, and answers to the Secretary of the Navy (under advisement by their nominal Department/Secretary).
USCG played a vital role in WWII, with quite a large number of awards and decorations earned the hard way.
Those of us subject to DoD were often jealous of the leaner and more streamlined purchasing & logistics train DoT used in operating USCG.
Dan, that is correct. USCG has always administered the licensing/certification of maritime professionals. The standards set are high enough to be granted prima facie, reciprocation nearly the world around. The Canadians will want you to take their exam, if you home port in their jurisdiction, but that’s more for ensuring knowledge of some French-language operational peculiarities in their waters.
“Marine” in this context meaning “at sea” rather than membership in the USMC. it’s a contraction/simplification of Merchant Marine, a term-of-art encompassing all commercial vessel operation withing a polity.
As a for-instance, a tour/charter boat operator has to have a Small Craft Master’s license to operate in US jurisdiction.
The various levels of aviation pilot licenses actually follows the model of the maritime licenses established & administered by CG.
You are being way too harsh on Sparky. Not everything is in caps; the word “I” is typed in lowercase letters every time.
That’s why I am starting The Society for the Prevention of Harshing on Sparkies! Or as it’s known in the pubs, SPHS.
Captain’s log, stardate 1498.0. The Tuiterians are a peculiar species who tend to do the opposite of what on most Federation planets is the norm. As an example, consider the capitalization rules of the Tuiterian language.
Perchance was this posted under Men Seeking Women? I ask because he states that he is “studding”.
Oh wait I just figured it out! It’s the Costa Concordia dude!
Or Joseph Hazelwood
Who still holds a Master’s license–not he’s much using it.
Perhaps Captain Sparky would be interested in a round tuit on November 5th, Guy Fawkes Day.
[corey/ Actually, the USCG requirement for manual plotting is somewhat archaic; it’s much easier to enter waypoints in a GPS and let the electronics figure out course, speed, distance, etc. However, if you get an entry wrong, it may not be obvious until it’s too late. In a 100-ton or larger vesssel, the GPS is probably hooked up to an autopilot, so you can go below and get drunk while the ship runs aground.
The basic USCG Captain’s license for boats up to 99 tons (of water displacement) carrying not more than 6 passengers is called a “six-pack.” Sparky presumably wants more variety. I’ve had a NH inland Captain’s license for over 40 years, but never bothered with the federal versions. No plotting was required, although I did have to pass a written test and show I could dock a boat. Personally, I’d rather have a captain with real seamanship skills than a math whiz who can plot his way to the moon but can’t stay on course. [end corey/]
Good, I promised my folks I’d eventually get a round tuit.
I had some of those, but they got lost somewhere. If only the Procrasta Nation would let me use some other form of currency for their exit fee.
Miss Mommy NiceNice; “Guess spelling isn’t a prerequisite for military service these days.” Spelling isn’t a prerequisite for TEACHING spelling (or anything else!) these days. As a teacher myself, I am appalled at other teachers’ failings in spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc. (must calm down, before I START TYPING IN ALL CAPS IT MAKES ME SO MAD I WANT TO JUST STRANGLE ALL THESE MORONS……) O.K., I’m better now….think I’ll go to Craigslist, but then there are the double-posters, and I GET SO ANGRY WITH THEM AND JUST WANT TO…….I better stop now. Bye.
STRANGLE ALL THE MORONS! is my Marilyn Manson cover band.
Today, my entire office had to sit through 3 hours of various speakers, one of whom was speaking on Reducing Stress. One of his top things to do to reducing stress was to “Pair down your to do list.”
No matter how much I blinked, it never corrected itself to “Pare” and I couldn’t figure out how matching up my tasks was going to reduce my stress.
100 Ton Captain, have I got a girl for you. Meet the 2000 Pound Wench.
Hey Captain Clueless! The position is for Coat Guard. You stand here. You watch those coats over there. Say nothing. At ease.
Sparky, darlin’…if you weigh 100T, you’ve (literally) got much, much larger problems.
I’m pretty sure ‘tuitering’ won’t help.
Tutoring won’t help, either.
Tudoring, on the other hand, is highly likely.
Honestly, most 100 ton captains don’t even bother with the license, they just sit around all day until you move them with a crane.
And aren’t they all named Jaba-something? Yeah, it’s kinda weird.
Usually, the 100 Ton Captain’s License is left in a vault somewhere on shore.
Plotting lesson #1: Your plot will have a greater chance of success if you don’t broadcast it on Tuiter. You never know who may be reading your tueets.
My intuition told me not to use Tuiter.
Present tense: I study English every day.
Past tense: Two years ago, I studied English.
Future tense: I am going to study English next year.
ASS-I TENCE: Eye haz never bothers studding Inglish.
The sad [corey] of this, is likely that this is an old salt of tarry tradition. Which will mean fingers blunted by nail-hard callous where not nicotine-ed or truncated by misadventures. Who is probably 15-20% deaf from workplace noise.
The USCG designation on 100-ton is not one of weight, but of displacement. The size here can be as small as 150-200′ long, half a city block, for a round number.
Given that the request for tutoring is charting (of the entire book of things tested) suggests to me that this is a tug/tow boat master, or a commercial fisher, looking to move up. Could also be a Mate wanting to hire on as a captain for one of the large fishing outfits, too. So, this speaks to experience with the usual things that prevent a “pass” on the exam–Rules of the Road, and Display of Signals. So, to me, that suggests someone with working knowledge of those things, but not one of having to work navigation & charting problems.
Were I applying for a Master’s ticket, I’d probably spend a few days memorizing the Rules of the Road section of Knight’s Modern Seamanship, then gallop through the practice test questions. But, I’ve got a few zillion hours’ experience with a chart table and Plan Position Indicators, and back in the pencil & erasable ink days.
But, then again, back in the 90s while on a cruise, I ran dry for reading material, so I decided to take a 1905 edition Master under Sail exam cold. I messed up on rights-of-way for vessels Wearing and Aback while navigating restricted waters (as in river & harbor/roads entrances). Hint: Vessels that are Aback are neither on Starboard or Port Tack
[/corey]
Did you pass the rest of it?
Well, sorta.
A. Did not formally sit for the test. The test was actually discontinued in 1949.
2. We did not have a Jury of “at least Three Sailing Masters of Experience; and One Ord’nary Master, or Mate of Experience” to conduct the exam.
III, The ‘Power’ (as it used to be known) exam includes all but the sail-specific bits, plus the ones germane to powered operation of vessels at Sea and Inland Waterways.
I hope you are right about him having working knowledge, Capn, but lacking basic spelling and grammar. There are those folks in the world who have not for whatever reason had the occasion or, indeed, opportunity to learn proper English. However, they have toiled long and hard in an occupation where practical and useful ability has allowed them to earn a living.
Papa Eyebrows (not a college attendee or graduate but fully literate) was a mechanical engineer by trade and was told throughout his career that he had more practical knowledge and ability than any graduate holding a Master’s from MIT or Cornell and was paid more because of it. :)<—proud daughter
Well, spelling does “count” where specific jargon and idiom are required. And, much of the test is multiple choice, so as long as you are literate, you can select the correct answer, if known.
As I remember hearing about these things from my Military SeaLift Command compadres (despite the title, MSC is operated by the US Merchant Marine), the charting test consists of being given a “waste” chart (one which has passed out of date, but is otherwise unused), typically a harbor approach, with a set of instructions.
Those instructions include things like locating the magnetic declination for the chart, and its effective date. Them to locate a marker on the chart, then a long word problem in several parts. If the chart were, say, the Strait of Juan de Fuca, the examinee might be given a scenario, to identify how to go from a given start point, to then plot a plan to reach a specific harbor or mooring. Note things like where to collect a harbor pilot, what are the Harbor Control/Port Captain readio frequencies, which channel to call for tugs, are there any zones of exclusion for your cargo; is there a Customs Hold/and or pre-moor Cargo Inspection required (the sort of data that goes out of date on the charts). The examinee then has to lay the course out in waypoints, and with notations for engine speed and expected course change angles.
Which will generate a narrative as well as lines on the chart.
Something like,
Steam to LB315;
turn until on Range R15;
Reduce speed to 72 turns/10 kts
Call Approach Control on Chanel 11/guard 118.5Mhz
…
Maintain 55 rpm until N095
Then Turn Left until on Rg 056
Slow at N065 until Pilot aboard
…
It’s attention to detail and some middling-basic vector math–all applied math, too. Reading all the edge notation is the hardest part. One that practice makes perfect.
In actual practice, the marine GPS gets you to the waypoints and where the Pilot takes the conn; you really only have to make sure to not run over anybody (even if you have right-of-way).
…or run into anything. Mr. Eyebrows’ stepson is one of the bar pilots that makes sure nothing runs into the Golden Gate Bridge. 🙂
Dave, it’s amazing how you can get those ferrets all rounded up and in your pants at the end of the day. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Marine Mammals!
I’m almost ashamed to say that I hold a 100 ton license.
The test wasn’t easy. I got a 98. My show off roommate got a 100. We were the only two women to sit for it that year in DC.
There were a LOT of folks sitting for the test who could have written this. Including the dear fellows who “trained” my roommate and I.
She is still in the industry. I am not.